i wake up hung over on saturday morning. i take the red line to caden’s place where i left my car. i get in the car and pick up my estrogen refill from the walgreens on north halsted. then i drive around boystown and end up at a bagel place caden recommended to me. i spend $16 on a bagel and $4 on a coffee. the trans guy behind the counter gives me a sneaky discount without saying anything. maybe he thought i was broke. or maybe i got a discount just for appearing transgender. i’m confident in my appearance today but i definitely do read as trans. i’m wearing girly sunglasses and a cropped band t shirt, grey jeans, black converse, a studded belt, and a dangly star earring. im carrying a tote bag from the philly AIDS thrift with a raccoon tail clipped onto it. i still have plenty of yesterday’s eye makeup on. i like to think i look cute today. i take my overpriced bagel and overpriced coffee to a cute little garden on clark and racine. there are flowers and butterflies. it’s peaceful. i call my friend luna from singapore and she actually picks up. fuck yeah. this is such a great morning. i finish my food and walk back to my car only to find out i locked it with my keys inside. fuck. fuck fuck fuck. my day was going too well. of course this happens. i call my dad and he calls roadside assistance and they’re on the way so i kill time. i call szu. paul is also there. we talk for a bit. i walk to a 7-eleven and buy an arizona green tea. i pay $1.80 for it despite the can being marked 99 cents. arizona has been the drink i default to for a while. i usually look for the green tea but arnold palmer might be just as good. i think its because i prefer the green can with the cherry blossom trees on it. we live in an era where everything is part of everyone’s identity and your convenience store beverage choice is part of your personality. so a can of arizona green tea becomes an accessory. i walk down the street sipping my arizona and then find a secluded spot to take my morning dose of estrogen. im lucky to have left my meds in my tote bag. i feel really feminine today. i walk into a raising cane’s men’s bathroom and take a shit. i look in the mirror and no longer see a boy, but don’t quite see a woman. at least i have a place to shit. decode by paramore plays over the speaker.