I'm working a summer job as a camp counselor. My group is all pre-teens. The girls constantly ask to go to the nurse, usually just for ice packs or bandaids. Usually it's nothing. This one girl asked to go to the nurse 7 times in a day. That night, I had a dream where she had jaundice. So I sent her to the nurse. I was surprised she was actually going to the nurse for a legitimate reason.
I had a dream that Szu and I were drunk at a party in a hotel. We were sing-screaming the lyrics to "Metamorphosis" by Your Arms Are My Cocoon. We were both crying through the whole song. It was the clearest a song has ever sounded to me in a dream. I remembered all the words.
I had a dream that Caden gave me a free ticket to see Benson Boone open for a band called "Tom Sawyer". The band could've been Rush, but they sounded like Van Halen. When I got to the venue, there was a deathcore band playing and the venue was completely empty.
I had a dream that my old band, Fishman Dracula, opened for Your Arms Are My Cocoon in Japan. I played drums for both bands. I borrowed a china cymbal from someone. At some point I found myself on a beach making out with someone.
I had a dream that I was in the studio recording an album with Naomi 10 Million. The studio was really crowded beacuse three other bands were using the studio at the same time as us, and we had to take turns with everything. Everyone was trying to get around and reach over each other. Stressful.
I had a dream that Claire and I were shopping for clothes at Nordstrom. Claire was in a wheelchair. Then I was in a Walmart gun department with Szu and someone asked me to buy a gun for him. I said I couldn't because the store didn't take Apple Pay. He said Szu fell off cause she didn't buy things for people anymore. I got really mad at him and told him to shut the fuck up. I said, "She means everything to me". Later I was with my friend Dove, who told me they were changing their name to "model".
I had a dream I moved into a new dorm. My roommate was a stealth trans girl who did her chores and paid for all the decorations and appliances in the dorm. Somehow, dream-me had a suspicion she was trans and asked her about it, and she said she was. She was cute. She wanted me to get in bed with her and watch a sitcom. The dorm elevator was super fancy, you'd sit on a bench and the bench would move to the floor you wanted to go to. I had clear, rainbow light-up rollerblades and skated around campus. It was dark and rainy and I kept seeing someone I used to be friends with in a group around campus and was trying to avoid her. Interesting that I had two trans-related dreams in a row.
Yesterday, June 22nd, marks five months on estrogen. My boobs are getting a lot more defined and noticeable. Last night I had a dream where I got top surgery. I guess in the dream I decided I wanted to detransition. I woke up during the surgery and then went back to sleep. When I woke up again, my tits were gone. The nipples were sewed back on but it didn't look pretty.
Last night I had a sex dream. I was a British man with grey hair, in bed with two faceless women. I think one of the women had a penis. I remember being unable to get hard in the dream, but saying "whoever can get me hard is my wife." I woke up feeling gross. I hate feeling like a man.
Last night I dreamt that I was playing Wordle. Instead of a 5x6 grid, it was a 15x15 grid, meaning I had to guess a fifteen letter word. I couldn't think of a single word that long and I was really stressed out. All my friends kept guessing it right and posting their scores.
Last night I dreamt that I was at a small house party. I was sitting on a couch facing the wall, softly strumming an acoustic guitar. There was a girl next to me, someone I had a class with my freshman year of college that had just graduated. I've only spoken to her a couple times, I'm not sure why she was in my dream. I was telling her about my compulsive hair-pulling and how I started doing it. I had this dream after helping my friend dye their hair.
Last night I dreamt that my dad was in my room while I was changing. I was super anxious that he'd notice my boobs or the scars on my thighs. He kept asking me questions and every time he spoke it would make me nervous.
I had a dream that I shouldn't share. It was really weird but not exactly surreal. It concerns people who were once close to me that I don't talk to much anymore. I felt really weird about it but I guess it's a waste of time to feel guilty about having a dream.
A couple weeks ago I almost went on a Hinge date with a really pretty girl and then I bailed on it because I was too nervous to follow through. The girl appeared in my dream. She was very kind, just as she was over text after I cancelled the date. I'm sure she's very sweet in person.
Last night I dreamt that I was waiting in line with Paul to get a piece of his skin peeled off and set on fire. I wasn't sure why he wanted to do that but I waited with him anyway.
I took a nap and dreamt that I was outisde a show with my guitar and blahaj and a ton of other shit and was looking for a place to put it before the show started. I called Szu to ask if I could put my stuff in her apartment but she wouldn't respond. Later I was in my bedroom and I saw a cute little orange cat chasing a mouse in the snow outside. Suddenly the orange cat appeared inside my room and started biting my hand, refusing to let go no matter how much I tried to shake it off me. I woke up with my hand in my mouth, my fingers between my teeth.
Last night I dreamt about my flight to Philadelphia, which is a week from now. I climbed a staircase to the airplane and there was a tired-looking woman with curly red hair and a septum piercing. I took a hit of a dab pen and put it in my bag and handed it to her. I noticed that all the luggage was being moved to a carpeted room, like something out of someone's home. I got onto the plane and we took off. We landed on a beach. A little boy with glasses climbed onto the wing of the airplane before it took off again, with the boy sitting on the wing. I watched him out of my window. We landed again and the boy went to his family. At some point, I had to participate in a Pokemon battle against Groudon and Kyogre.
Later that day, I took a nap and dreamt that Paul and I took a bath together in a dark room. We were both miserable.
Last night I dreamt that my music theory professor gave me a haircut. I was really nervous about it and kept telling her not to take too much off, and that I was going for something feminine. I can't remember how I looked afterward.
Last night I dreamt that I did acid. I've had a lot of psychedelic related dreams before. Usually, the effects from the psychedelics in the dream aren't very intense. I've been really scared of psychedelics since last Spring, when I had a really bad trip on shrooms. In the dream I was with some friends. I don't remember who they were, but we did acid together and I was really anxious about the whole thing. There were no crazy psychedelic effects in the dream other than colors looking brighter. I remember smiling and trying to make myself happy. Later in the dream I was playing bass in a band in someone's living room. We played I Can Tell There Was An Accident Here Earlier
by Saosin.