I had a dream I moved into a new dorm. My roommate was a stealth trans girl who did her chores and paid for all the decorations and appliances in the dorm. Somehow, dream-me had a suspicion she was trans and asked her about it, and she said she was. She was cute. She wanted me to get in bed with her and watch a sitcom. The dorm elevator was super fancy, you'd sit on a bench and the bench would move to the floor you wanted to go to. I had clear, rainbow light-up rollerblades and skated around campus. It was dark and rainy and I kept seeing someone I used to be friends with in a group around campus and was trying to avoid her. Interesting that I had two trans-related dreams in a row.
Yesterday, June 22nd, marks five months on estrogen. My boobs are getting a lot more defined and noticeable. Last night I had a dream where I got top surgery. I guess in the dream I decided I wanted to detransition. I woke up during the surgery and then went back to sleep. When I woke up again, my tits were gone. The nipples were sewed back on but it didn't look pretty.
Last night I had a sex dream. I was a British man with grey hair, in bed with two faceless women. I think one of the women had a penis. I remember being unable to get hard in the dream, but saying "whoever can get me hard is my wife." I woke up feeling gross. I hate feeling like a man.
Last night I dreamt that I was playing Wordle. Instead of a 5x6 grid, it was a 15x15 grid, meaning I had to guess a fifteen letter word. I couldn't think of a single word that long and I was really stressed out. All my friends kept guessing it right and posting their scores.
Last night I dreamt that I was at a small house party. I was sitting on a couch facing the wall, softly strumming an acoustic guitar. There was a girl next to me, someone I had a class with my freshman year of college that had just graduated. I've only spoken to her a couple times, I'm not sure why she was in my dream. I was telling her about my compulsive hair-pulling and how I started doing it. I had this dream after helping my friend dye their hair.
Last night I dreamt that my dad was in my room while I was changing. I was super anxious that he'd notice my boobs or the scars on my thighs. He kept asking me questions and every time he spoke it would make me nervous.
I had a dream that I shouldn't share. It was really weird but not exactly surreal. It concerns people who were once close to me that I don't talk to much anymore. I felt really weird about it but I guess it's a waste of time to feel guilty about having a dream.
A couple weeks ago I almost went on a Hinge date with a really pretty girl and then I bailed on it because I was too nervous to follow through. The girl appeared in my dream. She was very kind, just as she was over text after I cancelled the date. I'm sure she's very sweet in person.
Last night I dreamt that I was waiting in line with Paul to get a piece of his skin peeled off and set on fire. I wasn't sure why he wanted to do that but I waited with him anyway.
I took a nap and dreamt that I was outisde a show with my guitar and blahaj and a ton of other shit and was looking for a place to put it before the show started. I called Szu to ask if I could put my stuff in her apartment but she wouldn't respond. Later I was in my bedroom and I saw a cute little orange cat chasing a mouse in the snow outside. Suddenly the orange cat appeared inside my room and started biting my hand, refusing to let go no matter how much I tried to shake it off me. I woke up with my hand in my mouth, my fingers between my teeth.
Last night I dreamt about my flight to Philadelphia, which is a week from now. I climbed a staircase to the airplane and there was a tired-looking woman with curly red hair and a septum piercing. I took a hit of a dab pen and put it in my bag and handed it to her. I noticed that all the luggage was being moved to a carpeted room, like something out of someone's home. I got onto the plane and we took off. We landed on a beach. A little boy with glasses climbed onto the wing of the airplane before it took off again, with the boy sitting on the wing. I watched him out of my window. We landed again and the boy went to his family. At some point, I had to participate in a Pokemon battle against Groudon and Kyogre.
Later that day, I took a nap and dreamt that Paul and I took a bath together in a dark room. We were both miserable.
Last night I dreamt that my music theory professor gave me a haircut. I was really nervous about it and kept telling her not to take too much off, and that I was going for something feminine. I can't remember how I looked afterward.
Last night I dreamt that I did acid. I've had a lot of psychedelic related dreams before. Usually, the effects from the psychedelics in the dream aren't very intense. I've been really scared of psychedelics since last Spring, when I had a really bad trip on shrooms. In the dream I was with some friends. I don't remember who they were, but we did acid together and I was really anxious about the whole thing. There were no crazy psychedelic effects in the dream other than colors looking brighter. I remember smiling and trying to make myself happy. Later in the dream I was playing bass in a band in someone's living room. We played I Can Tell There Was An Accident Here Earlier
by Saosin.